A pictured guide to judging tits – the five criteria of beautiful boobs

Everyone is always looking at your tits – because everyone is judging you 

Flat naked woman lying down, her tiny tits are embarrassingly small, her nipples are hard, her pussy is not shaved
When men see a naked woman (or even a fully dressed one) such as this one, they first look at their chest to determine if they have big or small, attractive or ugly boobs

When men see a naked woman such as the one above, their first glance goes towards her chest. How do her tits look like? Are they attractive? What do they tell them about the woman herself?

Even when she is completely dressed, men immediately check out a woman’s tits. Many scientific studies on evolutionary psychology that involve eye-tracking experiments confirm this. You are constantly being checked out and judged.

But not just by men: women do the same. They look at each other’s tits and determine how their on breasts compare to that of their competitors. As one study hypothesizes, they might do so for “self-evaluation purposes”.

In other words: if you are ugly and flat-chested, you can be certain that not only will men consider to be unattractive, other women with bigger tits will consider you to be inferior to them.

And there is no way for you to hide. If you have small tits, people will notice, and people will judge you. Harshly.

How do you know what men and women think of your boobs?

While there are some small cultural differences and changes in the judgment of beauty, studies show that tits are largely judged by similar standards across cultures and time.

If your boobs are considered to be too small or too ugly in one part of the world in 2021, they would also have been ugly and inadequate in 1821 in a different part.

After having read many scientific studies and representative survey, as well as having judged countless tits on of women who were embarrassed by their ugly or tiny boobs, I have distilled the current wisdom into five criteria.

These five criteria determine whether you should be ashamed of your tits, or whether you can be proud of having beautiful boobs.

1: Size: small boobs vs. large boobs

While both have ugly tits, the tits on the right are much bigger than the tiny humps on the left

The most obvious (and most important) criterion is size. The flatter the chest, the less attractive the “woman”. Evolutionary, this makes sense, since large breasts are a sign of fertility and health.

Completely flat-chested women and those with, tiny, tiny a or b cups are so inadequate that they don’t even deserve to be called women at all.

Rightfully, many are terribly ashamed of their lack of tits.

The good news for men and large-breasted women is that it’s very easy to spot flatties. They can be easily recognized, even when they are fully dressed. Some try to cheat with push up bras or by stuffing their bras, but it’s a cheap trick that nobody falls for.

A flatty trying to pretend that it has bigger tits than it actually has by stuffing its bra – a desperate attempt to hide her inadequacy

When you see a woman with tiny tits, you can immediately tell that she is inferior and inadequate, and treat her with the disgust and contempt that she deserves.

2. Firmness and shape: firm tits vs. balloon-like, saggy tits

Despite being small, these “tits” are saggy and balloon-like and a really ugly sight

The next important factor is the shape and firmness of the tits. This is also an important genetic indicator, because it can tell us something about the youth and overall body composition of the woman.

Sometimes, women with tiny tits, such as a cups or b cups, are lucky and their small size means their breasts are in relatively good shape.

But more often than one would expect, even though gravity cannot possibly have had any impact on this, they apparently have such bad genes and are of such poor breeding quality, that their small tits are saggy and clearly pointing downwards.

In many cases, this looks like an old balloon that has already lost half the air or more.

It is possible for women to fool others while they are dressed by wearing a bra that keeps their balloons in place. But at least flatties have difficulties finding bras in their small sizes.

However, if a flatty tries to keep on her bra during sex, you can be almost certain that she has saggy “tits” and should run away as quickly as you can.

3. Areola: proportional vs. ugly, gigantic deformations

On the left we see two tiny tits that are, however, equipped with areola proportional in size. They are also slightly lighter colored than the nipples, helping the nipples stand out more prominently. On the right, we see two gigantic areola, that are in themselves almost bigger than the boobs of the left one

Next-up are the areola, the darkly-colored areas around the nipples. They are also widely regarded as a crucial component of the aesthetic appearance of a woman’s breasts.

Beautiful areola can help draw attention to the nipples, the queen in the center of attractive tits.

They can therefore be regarded as the frame that serves the purpose of highlighting the beauty of its content.

Very few women have areola that are too small. Those that do have “tits” that appear ill-equipped for their original purpose, breastfeeding babies – they do not draw enough attention to the nipples, and one simply fails to notice a woman’s boobs at all.

A rare example of a flatty with areola that are too small – even if she actually had tits (which she doesn’t), they would be completely unnoticeable because the tiny areola fail to guide the viewer’s eye

Like an oversized frame, however, oversized areola, immediately capture the eye, which is forced to keep wandering between the overall boobs, the areola and the nipples, until it is tired and exhausted, never knowing where to look and focus at.

Surprisingly, there seem to be some women with gigantic areola, who, for many years, never even noticed how ugly and disfigured they make them appear – before they found the first person willing to tell them the truth.

I have almost never seen a woman with areola that are too small – the picture below is one of these very rare examples.

But, quite a lot of them have areola that are clearly too big and oversized. Like a big, red warning sign, they seem to scream: “do not touch, do not fuck, and most importantly: do not use for breeding.”

Many men can get completely turned off by a woman’s areola, even if her boobs are otherwise quite attractive.

If a woman tries to keep on her bra during sex, she might also be trying to hide her ugly areola – so be careful and get ready to run away.

4. Nipples: Firm and hard or growing inwards

Two hard nipples are being pinched – they can be used to torture flatties and also indicate that they are aroused and horny

Nipples are, as I mentioned, the queen in the center of a woman’s breasts. They are an important marker of a woman’s sexual availability and her genetic quality.

After all, they get hard when a woman is aroused and are used to breastfeed babies.

So, the kind of nipples a woman has are particularly important.

Especially on the right side of the picture, the nipple is essentially invisible, completely disappearing in the oversized, ugly areola, resulting in one large mess of, well, ugliness

Nipples that are normally soft, but have the capability to get rock-hard, are both most attractive and useful.

They are attractive because they draw the attention to the center of the tits and offer a beautiful view when they change their state from soft to hard or vice versa.

They are useful because they can be used to inflict pain, via clamps, bites or by other means. And, of course, they can be used to immediately tell whether a flatty is aroused or not. Just like women can tell that a man is horny as soon as his cock gets hard, the fact that their nipples are getting hard is most often a clear indication.

A flat-chested woman lying down. Her "breasts are too small, her areola too big and her nipples seem to be in random positions
On the right side of the picture, you can clearly see that this ugly flatty’s nipple is clearly not where it belongs. Instead of being in the middle of the breast, the nipple is positioned too much to the right side of the picture, thereby making her oversized areola appear even more ridiculous

In the interplay between nipples and areola, the positioning is also an important factor. Beautiful nipples or women with healthy genes are centered in the middle of the areola, just like a portrait would be centered in the middle of a frame.

Disproportionately many flatties with embarrassing tits are desperate enough to try to draw attention to their inadequate breasts by getting their nipples pierced – yet it only further highlights what they are lacking

5. Symmetry: two similar boobs or two completely different ones

Underneath the bra, these boobs might appear to be relatively similar. But when she is naked, it becomes obvious that the boob on the right side of the picture is clearly bigger than the other one, and that they are also pointing in slightly different angles

Symmetry is a particularly important criterion to judge beauty and attractiveness. For example, many studies show that we judge symmetrical faces to be more attractive.

The same holds true for tits, boobs and breasts. Symmetry is a clear sign of attractiveness and an indication of the genetic quality of a woman.

Even if one boob would be absolutely perfect – if the other one is not, we can immediately draw conclusions about the woman’s inadequacy.

Some defects, such as the incorrect positioning of the nipples within the areola, are only visible on one breast.

Therefore, to accurately judge a woman’s tits, it is important to carefully examine both sides and look for defects and indications of inferiority everywhere.

Putting it all together

If tits are perfect in four of the five dimensions mentioned, they might, depending on the intensity of the defect, already be called unattractive.

But: rarely does a deformation come unaccompanied. Many of the women with embarrassing tits that wanted to know if their tits are too small and exposed their breasts online have problems in more than one dimension.

The worst possible case is a woman whose tits are ugly in all respects: they are too small, too saggy and balloon-like, their areola are too big, their nipples go inward or are mispositioned and both breasts look different.

“Do such women exist?”, you might ask.

Luckily for your entertainment, they do. Here are some examples of inferior, worthless flatties who begged to be humiliated and ridiculed and whose tits are among the ugliest the world has ever seen.

Her two tits are ugly and saggy, despite being incredibly small, She is rightfully completely ashamed of her tits.
Small, saggy, with gigantic areola, ridiculously looking nipples and asymmetrical – congratulations to being so ugly, now go hide in a corner and cry
Extremely ugly embarrassing tits: too small, too saggy, balloon-like, uneven, with gigantic areola, these breasts are disgusting
This is the perfect illustration of how tits should never, ever look like. Also, note the hilariously tube-like shape of the right boob on the left side of the picture

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